An Instruction Manual For Dealing With Dysfunctionals

cropped-being-silly.jpgWelcome back to the show that never ends….why is that? Because dysfunction has been around since man started walking upright, and I doubt it is going to disappear anytime soon.

Today let’s talk about dealing with a dysfunctional person.  I’m going to guess that all of you know one or two because, quite frankly, they are everywhere.   There is no escaping them whether they be in your immediate family, or in your circle of friends, or at the work place.

Let me start by saying I have compassion. I think anyone who knows me knows that I have empathy for others and I truly do care about members of my own species.  Having said that….here comes the infamous “but”…..because I have compassion for a dysfunctional person does not mean I am willing to let them run over me like a road-grader.

The first step in dealing with a dysfunctional is realizing that you are not going to change them.  Dysfunction is deep-seated, and nothing you say, nothing you do and nothing you feel is going to make that dysfunction go away.  Accept that fact and then you can deal rationally with the irrational behavior you are facing.

Secondly, set boundaries for what you are and what you are not willing to do or accept.  Your number one priority is to yourself.

Third, keep in mind that whatever crisis they may have manufactured is only a crisis to them; you do not have any ownership in it.

Fourth, be very aware that if you help a dysfunctional once they will expect you to help them again and again…and that is called enabling.

Finally, remember that their dysfunction is not your fault, so accept no blame for it.

If you can manage to keep those things in mind you just might have an easier time dealing with these emotionally and psychologically damaged individuals.

And with that I wish you a very happy and productive day filled with love.

Bill

Advertisements

About Billybuc

A simple man who has found happiness as a functioning dysfunctional.
This entry was posted in dysfunctional lives and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to An Instruction Manual For Dealing With Dysfunctionals

  1. Bill, great advice and will be honest here and say that we do try our best when dealing with the dysfunction in our lives (Kevin’s sister). And you are so right that a huge step is knowing that we aren’t going to change her and most of what is dysfunction/crisis is truly only in her head and hers alone. Easier said the done, but still try hard to remember this when dealing with her. Again hope you are having a great day now!! 🙂

    • Billybuc says:

      Janine, your statement that it is easier said than done is very accurate….been there and done that. 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to visit and comment.

  2. ruchira says:

    We too have many such dysfunctional people in my extended family.
    Alas, can’t change them or I am a different person around them.

    good pointers bill 🙂

  3. I have an ex co-worker/boss/friend who seems schitzoid at times. Out of the blue, she’ll treat you like crap, then come back all peaches and cream like nothing happened and she didn’t demean you or hurt your feelings. I keep her at arm’s length. Fortunately, we no longer work together. She’ll text or call me on occasion. I’m polite and pleasant with her but don’t trust her as far as I can spit.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s