We’ve talked about the classic dysfunctional family, and we’ve talked about how to deal with a dysfunctional person….today I want to talk a bit about how our own fears and past experiences can make us just a bit dysfunctional without even knowing it.
And of course, I’ll use myself as a guinea pig. J
I have always had a hard time with intimate relationships. I suspect it has something to do with being adopted and an underlying notion of rejection from that….but as the years went by, and a marriage failed, and other relationships failed, I found myself older for sure but also much more guarded regarding dating. I simply didn’t trust the women I dated; it was as though I went into a relationship expecting them to dump me so I made little or no effort….and I certainly held back a part of my emotions so that I didn’t get hurt again.
All of this is a sure recipe for disaster in the relationship area, because we simply can’t hold part of ourselves back and expect anyone to take a chance on us. I had to learn that the hard way over years of failed attempts to partner with someone.
Today I am free of that dysfunctional mess. I finally allowed myself to trust someone completely….Bev….and risk it all because I wanted to know what love was all about….and Bev came into our relationship with the same demons that had worked against her for many years.
This life gig ain’t easy, is it?
Have a great weekend!