The Dysfunction Next Door

cropped-being-silly.jpgGood morning and Happy Wednesday!

I’m sitting in my studio right now listening to screaming from next door.  There is a young couple there; they moved in a year ago; both in their late twenties.  They have a five year old son and a one year old daughter.  Did I mention they are screaming right now?

In fact, they scream quite often at each other, and the screaming moves outdoors on occasion.  F bomb this and F bomb that….you rotten F…er….you Bitch….and eventually she gets in the car and roars out of the driveway.

Easily the loudest and more experienced screamer of the two is the wife. She has one serious set of lungs on her and she does not hesitate to call her husband every name in the book at the top of those lungs.

I wonder several things as  I listen to them screaming about him leaving dirty dishes in the sink.  I wonder what kind of modeling she received when she was a child….and I wonder what kind of modeling she is doing for her children….and of course, the same can be asked for him.

I wonder if their children will grow up thinking it is perfectly normal to handle disagreements by screaming and cursing.

I wonder if these two adults have any idea what kind of damage they are doing to their children.

Just some random thoughts this Wednesday morning.

Bill

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About Billybuc

A simple man who has found happiness as a functioning dysfunctional.
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24 Responses to The Dysfunction Next Door

  1. Oh Bill this made me feel so terrible to hear. Yes, I do have to reprimand my kids when they do something they shouldn’t, but I truly hope they never grow up thinking that yelling in general is normal. Feel so bad hearing this and truly can’t even imagine. I just feel for these kids now.

  2. Bill, have you tried talking to them? I don’t mean for you to admonish the behavior they exhibit in front of their young children, but perhaps to let them know the neighborhood really doesn’t appreciate being forced to hear their arguments? You don’t appreciate their language, etc. Maybe they’ll get the hint. Then again, maybe not.

    I feel so bad for the kids. I can only imagine what goes on in their young minds. That’s no way to grow up. They’re being robbed of their childhood. And what will become of them when they grow older? Bouts with the law? Violence? Or worse……?

  3. susanzutautas says:

    My parents used to yell and scream at each other and I think my hubbies did too. Whenever we’re mad at each other we both clam up and refuse to fight like our parents did. My kids have never been witness to any yelling or screaming. I’m happy that they’ve not had to live like I did. One can very easily see the domino effect working in situations like you’ve just described.

  4. TLPoague says:

    I grew up around people that were like that to the point that I thought it was normal. It was after I had been married for awhile that I realized how wrong it was. It was something that I tried not to do to my children but it still didn’t stop them from seeing it in other households. They realized it was wrong just as much as calling a child stupid. I noticed that when my daughter is getting upset enough to want to act like this in front of her children, she will remover herself from the situation until she calms down.
    It may be wishful thinking, but maybe they will see the wrong they are doing and change it before it is too late.

  5. It’s so sad to see kids in this situation. I can’t imagine being blind to the fact that this is permanently affecting the children. Fix it or split up and be done with it!

    • Billybuc says:

      Lizzy, I agree. Marriage is forever unless it is destroying the children. You know how I feel about the safety of kids. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by dear friend.

  6. That’s really, really sad, because children learn more by watching what parents do than listening to what parents say. These parents are training their children to yell at people to get what they want in life. I hope the children decide to grow up doing the opposite of what their parents do. In this case, that would be a good thing.

  7. gosh! that couple needs to grow up cause they are balming a layer of ugly memory in their children.

    can cops be alerted on this…who in turn can alert the family protection agency…just a thought, Bill

  8. I feel sorry for their children. You wonder if they are screaming at each other all the time then why are they together? For the children, maybe but I think they like screaming at each other. There are lot of crazy people around.

    • Billybuc says:

      Susan, I have no answers for this kind of behavior. I did not grow up around it and I do not model it. I do feel sorry that their children have to witness it; not exactly a modeling of love in my opinion. Thank you my friend.

  9. michaelMilec says:

    Hello my friend. Knowing you as the most sincere and serious person, writer and friend, it would be foolish to think you ‘ spin a yarn’.. So, those are real prople your neighbors. God have mercy ! … Your random thoughts are unquestionably evident and list can go on . The neighbors are in need of help ; here is how I would beging extending my loving care without even talking to them: when ever they start their ” show ” I’ll set on security alarm the highest volume, and let it running until first emergency rescue unit arrives. The rest is perfect scene for your award winning Hub.
    Good night.

    • Billybuc says:

      Hello Michael my friend. No, this is not a yarn I’m sorry to say. These are real people doing damage to psyches like real people can do. I love your suggestion; might be worth considering.

      blessings always good Sir

      bill

  10. I grew up with a step father who yelled so much I was never even sure if he knew how to “talk” sometimes. The result for me is I CAN NOT STAND yelling! I hate it, drives me NUTS and it’s about one of the most degrading ways to treat another human. In my home…the quietest one wins!!

    Doesn’t make sense to me…if I’m sitting right in the same room with someone…I can hear them…shouting is unnecessary. That said, I’m human and I do shout every now and then but not as a means of communication. It’s not effective at all.

    And the kids next door? Will probably grow up and either be like me…repulsed by the loud noises or they will repeat the cycle.

    • Billybuc says:

      It’s really interesting, Kelly. I don’t remember yelling in our home when I was a kid. My dad had a temper for sure, but he never raised his voice….I grew up like that too. I use to tell teachers who I trained that if you have to raise your voice then you just lost the battle. 🙂 Thanks for your thoughts.

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